Well earlier this week I went to a park with my pal Nikos. He really is fun. It looked like a safe park, with fences all around, and gates to stop AndyHuman getting out, so I let him unfasten the lead while I had a good run around with my friend. AndyHuman seemed OK on the loose, he did, though if I'm honest he looked a bit nervous. Nikos is great, really great, because he can run fast like I can, and like AndyHuman can't. Humans really don't have that much going for them, but we dogs still enjoy looking after them. Nikos has got two humans to look after, poor thing. They are good ones though - they had chicken. So me and Nikos were getting chicken from AndyHuman as well as the other two. Not bad at all.
They are weird, though, these humans. Now that I am able to look all around the house, I've worked out what they do with their poo. At least what AndyHuman does. What they do, I think, is - they make it go down tubes and far away. Now, all that's fine, that's fine, but this next bit is just super weird. Do you know what they do? They collect and keep dog poo. Really, they do. I thought is was just AndyHuman but they all do it. All of them. They collect our poo in special bags - they use a new one every time like they're collecting laboratory specimens - and carefully tie the bag to seal it, before putting the bags in special boxes that they have everywhere. I just don't understand it. I guess they love and admire us so much that they want to hang on to it.
I've been at my new house, looking after AndyHuman for four weeks today. He's coming on well. He's still got quite a lot to learn. Quite a lot. I can be myself a bit more now. Tell you something though, he's soooo slow at going up and down stairs. I can do it about three times faster than him, so if we are doing this at the same time and he starts in front, I end up going between his feet. Doesn't he realise this could be dangerous for him? As I've said before he's not the brightest.
We've had a bit of a different kind of a week. I can't really remember in the first week, it was all a bit of a blur because I had a lot to show AndyHuman. Then for the next two weeks we just seemed to do very little. It's been different, though, different I tell you, this week. AndyHuman has spent lots of time in the daytime at his desk looking at screens and tapping a thing with lots of buttons. He didn't do that when I first came to my house. This week though, we had shorter walks in the morning, and he came back and started tapping his buttons. Sometimes he stops tapping, and looks at words on his screen thing. Then he often swears a bit, and starts tapping again, but a bit harder. Sometimes a human appears on the screen and they talk to each other. Then he might lift up his camera thing and point to my chair, and I hear them saying "oooh" and "aaah". I pretend to be asleep, I do. I pretend to be asleep. He does this until about tea time.
We walk when he's finished, though. I prefer it when he doesn't go on his screens all day, but when we walk afterwards it's all normal again.
I've been working on getting chicken from him by sitting down. Sometimes I even sit down when he hasn't got chicken. He still thinks he has to say "sit", silly human. I don't think he's really got it yet, but I need to train him properly so that I can optimise the chicken. Optimise the chicken!
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